personal, photography

autumnal creatures, rejoice

Hello, my children of the night

Autumn has arrived in my little melting pot of a town and I feel like a completely different human. That was dramatic, let me rephrase: I feel like the same, small and angry human, who feels at home in her skin.

That was dramatic, let me rephrase: I feel like the same, small and angry human, who feels at home in her skin.

My apartment is entirely decorated for autumn and Halloween. I say “entirely” in the sense that most of my home decor is gothic anyway and I’ve just been adding more to it and burning a shit ton of fall candles.

Jason and I got a space heater in preparation for the colder months, you know, like adults; today I went to REI and got some camping chairs to put on our patio so I can sit outside with my laptop and my tea. Speaking of that, I am currently in one of the said chairs, with a blanket that my grandma made me, my Pirates of the Carribean mug full of tea, and a Spotify playlist called “crisp leaves and lattes” playing through my speakers. I AM A COMPLEX INDIVIDUAL WHO LIKES STREET RACING AND ANGRY MUSIC AND BAR FIGHTS BUT WILL CHUG A PUMPKIN SPICE LATTE FASTER THAN YOU CAN SAY UGG BOOTS AND LEGGINGS, OKAY?! FUCKING F I G H T M E

Anyway, autumn and winter are the months where I feel the most serene and magical. You know how I talk about what a bitch I am during summer? I am still a bitch, but a much calmer bitch. I’m a domesticated, sweater weather loving, judgemental stare giving asshole during fall and I love it. Autumn is extremely nostalgic for me. Autumn is a blanket of familiar sadness and a sensation of pure, overwhelming bliss. I myself am a contradiction so therefore I thrive during times when I’m experiencing such a contrasting pull on both sides of my heart.

Autumn brings grief because it reminds me of:

  • Good friends I used to spend most of my days with, who I no longer speak to. I don’t miss them and our friendships were unhealthy, but the memories still hurt
  • My Mimi;  summer was a big season for us because I was always with her but there’s a reason my Papa called us “the Witches” – we are autumnal souls. She was my autumnal hero.
  • Being in a car crash three years ago that was, honestly, pretty horrific and fucked my head up for a while
  • Living in situations that were claustrophobic and downright toxic
  • Working in places that were ALSO toxic

Autumn also brings me joy, not only because I adore every single fucking aspect of it but because I get to experience memories regarding:

  • Doing homework with my sister, spending each and every day with her, leaning on her for support and giving her support in return.
  • Adventures with Heather, who also thrives during the -ber months. She always made me feel so normal when autumn rolled around and I was growing back into myself instead of shrinking away, like everyone else
  • 20+ years of midnight Halloween shenanigans
  • Jason, Jason, Jason
  • Music; this one is obscure and hard to describe but there’s a specific type of music that only fits colder days and I yearn for it during summer
  • Camping – I love camping in the cold. Fucking love it. Judge me, I fucking dare you.
  • Witchcraft, I focus so much more on my practice when I feel more like myself. Summer is so full of irritation and bitterness that I forget how much I love books and magic and walks in the forest.
  • Warm, cozy, wonderful baths
  • Staying at Aunt Tonya’s house

On a book-related note, I have not only collected several new kitchen appliances but also, several new cookbooks that I am stoked to thumb through and play with. I guess I also won a copy of The Dream Thieves and that kind of made my day when I found it on the coffee table. I’m going to keep it in the car for traffic jams and that’s my final answer.

Speaking of making my day, I got to see my sweet, lovely Nichole today. I got my wedding ring tattooed today. Yes, I did that. I would go into a hundred justifications of it but I don’t really give a fuck what anyone thinks of me or my tattoos. I’ve included some pictures but for clarification reasons, the blue symbols are for Taurus and Scorpio (Jason, who is a Taurus with a water / Scorpio dominance — the blue is for his career) and the black symbols are Pisces and Capricorn ( me; Pisces with Earth / Capricorn dominance and black because it matches my soul). I was going to get waves or a mountain range, but as I was driving to the shop I thought “Why not make this as specific and generally disgusting as possible” Nichole6Nichole10Nichole11Nichole12

I think I did a good job.

Here is the photographic evidence that my apartment is already as basic as possible yet getting worse every day. The reason that my tattoo pictures and these are so dramatically different is due to the fact that lighting and editing are confusing and I AM STILL LEARNING, OKAY?

 

That’s all there is,

The Book Witch

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photography

I Write With My Hands About Things I Do With My Hands

Sup, mofos.

Remember my fiance? You know, the one who I think is super fucking stoic and mysterious but is actually just a huge nerd that makes goat noises?

This fuck weasel?


Guess what he did!

No, you have to guess.

He upgraded my camera. He upgraded my little Kodak to a beautiful, sleek Nikon D5600. Not that I didn’t love my sweet Manon but the local community college did not know how to teach me professional photography on a Kodak. So, let me introduce you to Richard Campbell Gansey III aka Daddy Dick.

He’s beautiful, yes?

I’m stoked because I can now invest in some photography classes during the summer. Here’s a comprehensive list of “what this means for everyone in my sphere of existence”:

  • More pictures of tarot readings
  • More pictures of crystals and bones
  • More pictures of books
  • More pictures of coffee
  • Humans being dragged into adventures on a more frequent basis
  • Obnoxiously spontaneous day trips
  • “I need a fucking picture of that”
  • “I need a picture of your fucking face”
  • “Hold fucking still”

 

Here are some (edited) pictures of bookish layouts that I’ve done in the last couple weeks (taken on the Kodak).


Here is an (edited) picture of a shirt that my boss designed for me that I turned into Tumblr trash.


Here’s me with Daddy Dick.

I also decided to get an Apple Watch, because go big or go home, right? I’m very surprised with how much I like it – I went on a hike yesterday and it was really efficient to have the watch on instead of trying to use my phone for everything.

So, I’m going to be working on photography quite a lot in the upcoming months. This Mercury Retrograde is absolutely kicking my ass; I’m normally an extremely restless person who needs to be engaging in some sort of creative outlet to feel sane and I’m usually small and consistently angry, but this is something else entirely. This is some “I’m afraid of my own shadow, I don’t know who I am anymore” My sister and I are going to get crystals to combat some of the disruptive energy buzzing around the atmosphere. I’ve had an insane amount of drive to do tarot readings lately and when I was up on my mountain I had a weird pull a card pull a card pull a card feeling tugging at my gut. I drew a card.

 

 

Queen of Wands, as defined by Maggie Stiefvater in my raven oracle deck, is essentially the “fire breathing over-protective viciously caustic bitch” card. In case you were wondering how that fucking translates into something important – I pulled my personality on a card. I rarely ever draw fire cards. My birth cards are the Moon and Strength and I typically always end up with Death somewhere in my spreads. Honestly, I think it’s the first time I’ve ever paid attention to the Queen of Wands but I am now paying very good attention and listening very well to whatever the world is saying.

The Queen of Wands is the dominant feminine energy of the element of Fire. She is not afraid to demonstrate her power to others nor does she shy away from a challenge. She is therefore a strong leader who is focused on her desires, intending to get what she wants. Thus, the Queen of Wands indicates that you are strong, independent and able to take care of yourself and sustain your own creative vision, even in the face of adversity. You know what you want and how to get it, and you are masterful at engaging with others to achieve your goals.

Called. The. Fuck. Out. It’s always a little bittersweet when the universe is like “Yeah dude, you have the magic but you kind of need a kick in the fucking pants to remember to use it.”

In bookish news, I put aside Me, Earl the Dying Girl favor of Labyrinth of the Lost by Zoraida Cordova. I needed some more magic and less male narrative in my life. Normally, I gear myself more towards male-oriented novels because 97% of the time, I can’t relate to the main character when it’s a girl. Unless she’s like, basically Satan, I cannot handle the tortured, love-sick monolog and the internal struggle to be “just like other girls”. I have never once had a desire to be the same as someone else and I hope that I receive a nice uppercut to the jaw if that ever happens. I digress;  I like Cordova’s novel thus far, I have always had a strong inclination to the study of brujas and Dia De Los Muertos. I hope this book does the culture justice. I just finished Between the Devil and the Deep Blue Sea and the ending was not bad! I really enjoyed the story and I’m considering getting the second book in the series but I’m so behind on my TBR that I can feel my soul dying a little every day. Just kidding, I don’t have a soul; but my TBR is fucking insane, I wasn’t kidding about that part. I noticed that audio-books have really changed my interaction with reading as a whole. I was driving the other day, running errands as we adults do, and I realized that I’ve started to equate certain parts of town with certain moments in books. Seventh Street now reminds me of when Ronan stole the Pig and raced K. The parking lot of Ulta out on Pyramid Highway will always bear the weight of Kit finding out that Della is pregnant. It’s a strange sort of reality, where words have started to paint themselves into my town.

In terms of other creative projects, I am currently teaching myself to embroider so I can give people dish towels that say shit like “go fuck yourself” and “thug ass piece of trash” because you know, I love them. I’d like to be able to embroider patches someday because I fucking love putting patches on shit. I’m trying so hard to put more energy into bullet journaling. That’s right, friends, ya girl is Bullet Journal Trash. Honestly, though, I have tried and tested so many fucking methods of keeping my shit together. I have the attention span of a five-year-old so traditional methods are not good for me. My BuJo (shut the fuck up) is less of a planner and more of a Book of Shadows and memoir cross-over. The most organized aspect of it is my “Important Dates” page where I basically write down any appointments I have that are at high risk to be forgotten aka “any appointment I make, ever.” Here is my cuss-word filled BuJo in all its glory, paired up with my rude-ass pencil bag that has more lipsticks and lighters in it than actual pens. 

My 2017 reading accomplishments page is sad, I know. I got sucked into the Raven Cycle series and it spit me out, completely unmotivated to read anything else, ever again. If you need me, I’ll be continuing my existential crisis over the search for a dead Welsh king and the fact that I have the same soul as a street-racing farmer.

That’s all there is,

Carry on –

The Book Witch

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