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the gamer & the librarian || a glimpse into the crystal ball

“These two, especially if the Sun-Moon relationship between them is strong and positive, can exist almost in a world of their own, held together by a communication of the senses surpassing anything an Air or Fire sign could imagine. Few human experiences of sharing are more comforting than the physical demonstration of love between a Bull and a Fish, without questioning their mutual need, only desiring to answer it” – Linda Goodman; Linda Goodman’s Love Signs 

This post could otherwise be titled “the healer & the writer”, “the protector & the dreamer” or “the realist & the mystic”

 

I wanted to write a post about my dream home… and then I wanted to write a post about birth charts… and then I wanted to write a post about marriage… so in a fit of genius and a bit of “fuck that”, I decided to throw them all in a cauldron and to write a post that focuses on how I want my marriage to be in 5 years.  After pondering on that topic for a couple minutes, I thought that it was a great way to immortalize how I feel as 2016 comes to a close. I also believe that this is a topic that all couples should explore, to mesh some goals and figure out a timeline for certain life aspects they’d like to have worked out. Side-note: I intend on sharing this with Jason later, after it’s published. We already have a five-year plan posted in our bedroom as a reminder of our goals but this is going to be much more specific to my actual visualization of our future.

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If you’re familiar with birth charts like I am, you’re probably looking at this and going “Holy shit (some of you might be a bit more eloquent than I), a lot of your planets are in similar signs.” Yes, we have elemental compatibility in all of our planets except our Jupiters. Some of our Houses are in disharmony but we have a solid amount of positive squares, trines, and sextiles to balance it out. If you have no clue what the fuck is going on, let me tell you a thing: don’t worry about it, just know that the quote above applies to Jason and I – that’s all you need to take away from this.

Jason and I have been together almost five years, so by the time this post is chronologically saavy – these goals would have been ten years in the making. Five years is a lot of time for growth and change; there’s so much room for improvement or deterioration. I hope this post gives a little insight as to what a lot of long-term relationships are like – there is always work to be done. Even couples who have rock-solid foundations and who appear completely unshakeale are constantly at work with their significant other.

So here you go – How I Want My Marriage to be in Five Years

Supportive 

I can not put enough emphasis on this one and I put it as first as a reason. I have learned that relationships will not thrive if you do not support your significant other. I’m not talking about an apathetic “sure, babe. that’s neat” – I’m talking about a “YES THATS MY BEST FRIEND YOU GO BEST FRIEND” kind of support. Like, a strong enough support that it gives you confidence in yourself. In a stroke of good luck, I found a human who is so immesely supportive of my goals and interests that I fell in love with him more because of it. He’s all “You wanna open an etsy to do tarot readings and birth charts? Yeah, when are you gonna start?” and “You wanna start doing photography? Can I help you research cameras?” I want to nurture this aspect of my realtionship until people are absolutely disgusted by how supportive we are. Having a supportive partner is like having this mutipurpose magic wand that can be a ladder on the good days, a safety net on the bad days, and a mega phone on the in between days. It’s a blessing and I encourage everyone in a relationship to support the fuck out of each other and for my single readers to seek for someone who will be your support, no matter how obscure you think your goals are.

Fulfilling 

I also have this aspect of my wants already in play, hallelujah – praise whoever. Fullfilling relationships, in my definition, are ones that make you feel whole. This person and this life you live with them fills in your puzzle pieces. You found pieces of yourself that you didn’t know you were missing and now all these beautiful parts of you are coming to life because of your relationship. Before Jason, I didn’t think I would ever enjoy little things like spending Saturdays in bed – Pause, for the record, I’ve always been extemely introverted but I’ve always been a very nervous introvert and therefore, lazy afternoons were nightmares come to life – or cooking or just being myself. My relatioship has made me, much more me-ish. Once I started dating Jay, I was always finding myself saying things like “Ah yes, there’s that missing piece of my soul”. Again, another quality that I hope to nourish and keep alive for many, many years.

Engaging 

Oh boy, I’ve got a love/hate relationship with this one. I deeply, truly find my fiance’s intelligence to be an aspect of him that I pop a lady boner for on a daily basis… however, I do NOT pop lady boners for his stuborness and unyeilding nature. I love the fact that we can have intellectual discussions, but some topics are super off limits for us because I’m a sensitive little shit. (Fun fact: Us Slytherins are actually 20% dark humor, 30% intolerance for stupidity, and 50% too many feels) I’d love to turn this around into something that we can both be happy with – a place where we can talk about subjects like rape, I don’t automatically assume that he’s going to make me cry, and he doesn’t feel guilty for bringing it up in the first place. I don’t mean its bad to be sensitive about rape (please, for the love of all things J.K Rowling, be sensitive about rape) but I can and will shut down, instead of staying rational. I love that Jason and I are both well-versed in certain topics but we both have aspects of communication that we need to work on.

Peaceful 

There is nothing that I enjoy more than peace and quiet; I am the sleepiest, most avoidant person I know and peace is so important to my people.  In terms of relationships, by “peaceful” I mean that we our lives are less chaotic, we have a schedule, we get to spend time together, and there’s no outside sources of conflict. I have a very large, very mixed family who doesn’t always respect personal space and Jason has family members who I want to strangle. I wish I could put that more eloquently but my patience is already so thin. I think this will really start to take place when I’m done with school, we have a permanent place to live, and we both have careers. Naturally, those are time-dependent factors, so I find my current sense of peace in staying super far away from Facebook and reminding Jason that he’s a dude, and dudes don’t really have to mediate between in-laws so just don’t piss anyone off.

Private 

Very simple — I require 48 pugs, an espresso machine, and a house far away from human beings. I currently don’t put relationhsip stuff out on social media and if I do, it’s for the sake of positivity or to give what little advicfe I have . Keep your shit off of the internet, and you won’t regret it in 3 years.

 

Anyway, thank you all for reading, liking, and commenting! Nothing is better than being able to pursue a passion such as writing and getting positive feedback, or any constructive feedback. It’s terrifying trying to put yourself out there to explore something you enjoy and I really appreciate all of the encouragement and love.

 

Happy holidays &  best wishes,

The Book Witch

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